Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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