Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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