The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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