we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
