so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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