time to smoke my breakfast
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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