It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
