How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
