I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
