these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
