her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize