Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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