he puts the penis in happiness.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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