I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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