Do you still have your period?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
