Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
