what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
