Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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