I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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