I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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