I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
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I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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