so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
