Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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