Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
