I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
