I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
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i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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