It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
