How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
