The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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