So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
