We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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