His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
