Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
