Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
