He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
