So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
