Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
