I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
