I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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