i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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