Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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