Who did Billy Mays play for?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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