Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize