Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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