i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK