Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.