so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape