Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
