ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
