Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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