Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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