I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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