grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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