come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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