I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
