fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
