yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
