I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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