Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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