No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
