ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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