she was so not down for the gang bang
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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