Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize