the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
