I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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