I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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