; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
