I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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